Coach, the last interview ended with you throwing your chair at the wall in disgust, but it has been a long time since then. The people want to know what their Coach is up to.
Coach Beav: “After my rough 2013 fishing season and injury riddled 2014 campaign, I have decided to take an extended break from all ocean related activities. I have taken my talents inland to the mountain ranges of Colorado for a career in the Snowboarding Arts . It was a difficult decision to leave Fishy Jackson behind but he understood this was best for my long-term fishing career.”
But, but, but Coach, you will be missed here on the Atlantic. From what I understand, The Fishtilian did not take news of your departure well and remained in denial about it for quite some time. Rumor has it Fishy made a life-like clay figure version of his Coach, and would bring it out fishing with him as if it were really you…How do you feel about this?
Coach Beav: “I knew Fishy would take it hard, but he knows I’m a big boy now, a man-boy if you will…and this was the right step for me at this time. One day I will return to the Atlantic Waters to recapture my fishing glory days, but until then I must remain a Being of the Mountains. If you overlook the absence of fish and water, then snowboarding and fishing are basically the same thing…so this was a natural transition for me.”
Understandable, but damn it Coach, the Atlantic now has a massive void to fill. With General Este Dot and Petey Plunder still residing out west as well, whom do you expect to step up and fill this void as Fishy’s trusty local disciple?
Coach Beav: “That’s a tough one, these are big, big shoes to fill. I would have to say the best bet would be The Lunker, Largemouth Larry. He has the physical, mental and spiritual tools to take the next step, but it remains to be seen if he has the “IT” factor to make it on the Atlantic. Fishy Jackson once told me I am “The Dragon”, does Larry have any Dragon in him? Time will tell…Also, a darkhorse candidate to step up would have to be GefilteBerg. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in entitlement.”
It will be interesting to see how this all develops Coach. In our first interview you noted that landing the Stingray was one of the highlights of your career. On the flip side of that, what would you consider to be the low point of your fishing career?
Coach Beav: “That would have be to back in July of 2013, when Fishy and I went out to the Hudson spot. I not only went fishless for the day, but was defeated in 3 straight games of NHL13 upon our return. I then proceeded to go fishless at the surf a couple of days later. Fishy Jackson told me there is no crying in fishing, but he did permit me to make low wimpering murmurs on the ride home as long as no tears came out.”
We’ve all been there Coach, fortunately your career has had many more ups than downs. When they inevitably make a movie about your life, which actors do you feel would be best suited for the role?
Coach Beav: “Very good question, as this is something I have been giving a lot of thought. I would probably tab the dude from the Wonder Years to portray me in my tweenage years, and then Danny DeVito for when I come of age.”
Excellent choices Coach. Well we know you need to get back out there on the slopes, are there any words of wisdom you would like to leave us with?
Coach Beav: “I will leave you with this: Whether it be a boy, tween, man-boy or man, we must all take a step sideways to the mountains at some point in order to take the next step forward.”
That’s deep Coach, well said. Good luck on your travels Coach, please watch over Fishy from afar.