Fishy Jackson, AQUA-D
Location: Sandals Grande St Lucia
Bait: Mostly Gulp Shrimp
The Fishiest Humanoid of the Earthed Terrain was the only man on the resort who brought fishing gear…and with a dock and some rocks just 20 yards from the room, the Fishtilian was able to put in some decent fish work amidst the ‘Mooning. Sandals St Lucia proved to be a gracious host of the Fishy Jackson/AQUA-D Honeymoon, even going as far as providing 2 personal butlers to cater to every need. It was almost as if Fishy Jackson had paid to be treated in such a manner…
The Fishtilian was able to switch up the fish methods a few times but most of the fish were caught on sabikis with pieces of gulp. The variety dried up surprisingly quickly…as Dusky Damselfish, Longspine Squirrelfish, French Grunts, Tomtates, Yellowtail Snapper, small Crevalle Jacks and Slippery Dicks made up most of the action. These waters are also teeming with the Bizarre Hairy Blenny. Whole gulp shrimp on a jig and live-lined small fish saw no action except small Jacks pecking at the shrimp. Jacks cut into chunks produced a couple of small Coney Groupers. The Micro Gear was neutralized by the mostly windy conditions. It appears that fish larger than 10″ steer clear of these waters around the resort.
Creatures Caught: Puddingwife (#125), Mottled Jawfish (#126), French Grunt (#127), Dusky Damselfish (#128), Longspine Squirrelfish (#129), Coney Grouper (#130), Palometa (#131), Squirrelfish (#132), Smallmouth Grunt, Hairy Blenny, Slippery Dick, White Grunt, Yellowtail Snapper, Crevalle Jack, Schoolmaster Snapper, Tomtate Grunt, Lane Snapper
New Grunt Species Discovery: AQUA-D was catching Slippery Dicks left and right, and even discovered a new Grunt Species…the Smallmouth Grunt (Albert Karl Ludwig Gotthilf Günther claimed to have discovered this species back in 1859, but he was probably lying).
Weirdo of the trip: Mottled Jawfish- huge gaping mouth for small body, the creature was drooping over
Clutch Non-Throwback of the trip: Squirrelfish- After catching 20+ Longspine Squirrelfish throughout the trip, one of the final fish caught of the trip was…a regular Squirrelfish (no white tips on the dorsal spines). Before the second thought occurred, this fish was nearly thrown back without a second thought…
Squirrelfish (top)/Longspine Squirrelfish (Bottom)
Douchiest fish of the trip: Dusky Damselfish- These fish peck at the baits constantly…real annoying animals
Gay Fish of the trip: Coney Grouper– This fish looks very similar to the gayfish that banged Kanye. **Update- These Coneys don’t grow large enough to be Yeezy’s actual lover but the resemblance is uncanny.
male Hairy Blenny / female Hairy Blenny
Hackshaw Charters=Pisspoor. The $500 4 hour bottom fishing charter on a beautiful day produced exactly one caught fish. They drive 10 minutes to a “reef”, anchor up and use crappy heavy rods with busted eyes. When no fish were caught in over an hour, they “moved to a new spot”…50 feet away to other side of reef. The only fish caught, a crappy Yellowtail Snapper, was caught on AQUA D’s rod while the mate was holding the line in his hand, because the rods are too heavy to feel nibbles. This was a total Hackjob Operation…there is no excuse not to have action bottom fishing on a reef in the Caribbean. The Hackshaw Brothers were not present on the boat, but they are responsible for this debacle.